


A Second New Beginning

by Goliath



Category: Vampire: The Masquerade
Genre: Blood Drinking, F/F, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-02
Updated: 2014-08-02
Packaged: 2018-02-11 11:08:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2065911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goliath/pseuds/Goliath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cassandra, a recently embraced Toreador, finds herself bearing witness to an event that will change her beloved Jeanette, and Therese, Voerman's fate...</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Second New Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this when I first played the game, years ago. It was meant to be the first part in a series that would alternate between steamy-hot sex between Cassandra and Jeanette, and various missions that Cassandra's mentor would send her on. Never wrote anything further than this part, thought, even if I had ideas.
> 
> Anyways, I thought I might as well put it on here.

Jeanette looked up at me, then back down at where she shot herself. Her eyes focused on the bullethole in her jacket. The edges were blackened, and the hole continued deeper... But the look on her face was not one of pain, but of sorrow. I could tell that Therese was gone - that calculating, malicious look in her eyes that was so prominent when Therese was "in charge" just... Wasn't there anymore. Now, the look in her eyes... I could tell it was Jeanette, but she had a poignant look of distress on her face, and something close to panic in her eyes. Quietly, breathlessly, tears started falling to the floor beneath her.

Both she and I stood paralyzed for a few seconds as we both realized that she was still clasping the gun in her hand - she could still hurt herself. I don't know what she was trying to do, but she made a sudden move. My body seemed to move on it's own - I lunged at her, with the intent of grabbing the .38 out of her hand. "Her grip is probably as indecisive as she must be feeling, so wresting it from her fingers should prove easy", I thought to myself...

A gunshot tore through the relative silence of the scene. I had been wrong. In a desperate attempt at maintaining control over the situation, she had fired before I could take the the pistol away from her. I felt a sharp burning in my left thigh, but the pain was bearable - I had also succeeded in taking the gun from her just as she fired it. I quickly popped the chamber out and shook out the remaining bullets together with the two empty cases. I threw the weapon over my shoulder, still holding her right hand firmly in mine. When I looked back at her, her legs had buckled in a bit, pressing against each other, seeming able to only just keep her standing. The pain in my leg focused my senses. Even through the half-deafness from the gunshot, I could hear her breathing. I could tell she was struggling not to cry. She wasn't very successful. Her left hand hung feebly down her side, and her gaze slowly lowered to the floor. She stood there, bent slightly forward, with her right hand limp in mine, sobbing.  
She looked... Crestfallen. I didn't think she was going to be aggressive any more. I took a step forward. She didn't move, took no notice that I moved at all. I could see her tears falling now. They were large, making small puddles on the floor where they landed. I put my free hand on her shoulder, trying to comfort her, or at least let her know I was still here. She didn't seem to care, or even be aware. I felt so sad, seeing her like this. The first times we met, and even less when I met Therese, I'd never have guessed that she had a secret like this...

I felt my own tears coming on. Her aura was shifting in red, blue and a blackening gray. I knew little of auras, but the feelings she radiated... I could tell this was what her aura looked like when she was about to hit rock bottom - or at least the red and black-ish color were... The only color that was out of place was the teal - what could that color mean to her..?

I let go of her hand, moving it to hold her other shoulder instead. Her hand slowly drooped down to her side, imitating her other arm. I tried to straighten her up a little, with moderate success. Every time she sobbed, it was like a knife cut at my heart. I started to think I could feel a little of what she felt though the blood bond we shared. This immense sense of helplessness, the sounds, the scene, what little I knew of the events that led her here... It was heartbreaking. I didn't try to conceal or hold in my own tears as I started crying.

I firmed my grip on her shoulders. She looked up at me. Her eyes beseeched me - "What should I do"? The tears running down her cheeks made her mascara draw wet, black lines down the left side of her face. As she gazed at me, her aura kept shifting in the same colors, the same nuances, as before, but it wasn't pulsing as agressively now. It seemed to be calming. That... Might be a good thing, right?

As the situation slowly started to really seep in, I looked at her. Seeing both Therese and Jeanette in the same girl, in the same _face_... It was bizarre - but not quite as surprising as I thought it would be. I didn't like seeing her in pain. Not one bit. I don't doubt what she told me during our first encounter - "When I'm sad, the whole world tries to make me smile". And it wasn't just the blood bond that made her move me... Or at least I don't think so. I'd like to think I'm still capable of _some_ emotion, even if I _am_ a vampire...

I tried to compose myself, tried to think of something, anything, to say to make her feel a little better... But nothing came to mind. What could I say to ease the pain of losing half of your personality, a personality that you've lived with as your _sister_ for pretty much all of your life? I couldn't find a single thing to say. I was crying almost as much as she, now... I felt like I _should_ be able to comfort her, at least slightly... But I couldn't even bring myself to speak.

She was still looking up at me with those big eyes of hers. Her gaze, her expression, was begging me to say something, do something. Lacking words, I did the only thing I could think to do - I pressed her body against mine. I sobbed, almost desperately, as I realized that I wasn't sure if it was to comfort her... Or myself.

Jeanette gasped and seemed to stop breathing completely for a few seconds when I grabbed her. When she got over the shock, she just broke down. She cried her heart out on my shoulder, her arms limp at her sides. I put my palms against her back, pressing her closer as I let my own tears flow freely as well. I held her as closely as I could without using force. I was sobbing violently, feeling like I had failed her. I couldn't save Therese from Jeanette... And now that Therese was gone, I couldn't provide Jeanette with the comfort she needed, even though I wanted to, I wanted to be able to comfort her so badly... 

A sudden thought slashed through my thoughts, breaking through the emotions for a second - comfort can come later. She might still try to hurt herself. I had to think of a way to prevent that...

It only took a few moments to come up with what just might be a solution. I'd already thought about doing it with her before this, so what better time would there be? She was one of the very few individuals in my new life that I felt like I could trust, even after what I just witnessed... No, even more so after what I witnessed here tonight. She hadn't exactly been a good influence, but she had never lied to me. I was careful not to distance myself too much as I moved my head so that I could look into her eyes. I undid the buttons on my right sleeve behind her back, and folded it up a bit. She closed her eyes - I had to make sure she wouldn't hurt herself. I _had_ to, even if I had heard that doing this might be dangerous to us both...

I moved my left hand to hold her shoulders and positioned my right hand in between us. I held it up just below our faces. It didn't take long before parts of my arm were wet from our tears... As I looked at her face, I suddenly realized that I'd never seen her cry before - and that she is painfully beautiful when she does...  
I turned my hand, exposing the soft tissue of my vein-rich wrist to her.

I could almost feel Jeanettes' eyes open slightly, looking at my wrist, mesmerized. This whole situation, even if it at the same time seemed cruel and fucked-up, felt... Right, somehow. I smiled through my tears as I felt Jeanette's gaze on my skin. I imagined how loud my heartbeat must have been to her right now, as she watched the veins of my wrist pump and pulse... I carefully observed her as she seemingly unconsciously leaned in closer, parting her lips slightly, bearing the tips of her fangs. She was so cute... I made no attempt to stop her - after all, this was what I wanted her to do. I felt her hands move around excitedly on my back - when did she..? I didn't even notice her move her arms - as she put her lips to my wrist. I could feel her tongue dancing on my skin, licking it, the muscles of her lips tensing and relaxing as they kissed my skin. She seemed so preoccupied with licking my wrist that she made me jump a little when her eyes suddenly regained focus and snapped from my wrist, to my chest, to my face, to my eyes. It looked like she had forgotten that I was there for a moment, and just realized that I was still here with her. I was happily smiling at her, willingly giving her the opportunity to share my lifeblood. Her lust for my blood temporarily suppressed her sorrow, it seemed. Her eyes were still wet, but only a few tears made their way down her cheeks as she looked up at me. She snivled and blinked, sending two big tears on their way down her face. She lifted her mouth from my wrist;  
\- "Cassandra...", she said. It was the first time she ever spoke my name. Her voice was weak... No, not weak - she actually sounded shy. I could tell she wasn't used to feeling shy, even though I hadn't known her for very long. She avoided eye contact, but her eyes were open. She looked around the room, her eyes only daring to meet my own for a few moments at a time.  
\- "Yes, Jeanette?", I replied. She winced when I said her name... I hadn't thought before speaking - in hindsight, I realized it'll probably take her some time to get adjusted to only having one personality... Maybe I should avoid calling her by her name until I'm sure she's allright?  
\- "A-... Are you sure about this? We could get into all sorts of trouble if-..."  
I shook my head to interrupt her. We both knew what I was offering, and what the implications might be. I had no regrets, and she had nothing to lose.  
\- "I'd do anything for you... Mistress."  
I hesitated a little before deciding on her title. At least she didn't flinch when I did. And it actually felt nice calling her that... She didn't seem to mind, either. I could see a little hint of a blush flaring up under what little makeup was still on her face.  
Her eyes, still brimming with tears, locked into mine.  
\- "Say... Say that again...", her voice trailed off, and a small, embarrassed smile came and went on her face as she spoke. Her ice-blue contacts made her gaze piercing, yet wanting.  
\- "I would do anything for you, mistress. Please...", I said, raising my wrist a little, reminding her that it was still there. She only gave it a quick glance, then returned her gaze to my eyes.

So far, it seemed my plan to keep mistre-... I mean Jeanette, alive was going as planned. If I could get her to drink some of my blood, our bond would become two-way... Or so I'd heard. The blood bond is a tricky thing, though. Us vampires, we don't feel love or passion the same way humans do... It's the one thing I miss about my old life, even if I had noone significant in my life before or at the time of my Embrace... When I met Jeanette, my brain just analyzed her body and appearance. I found her attractive, I felt the lust, even the passion was there... But at the same time, it wasn't. All of the feelings were there, but in a _completely_ different way. All of my feelings are so... Distant, now. Hollow, is the word I'd use. They don't compel me to take action or make me nervous like they did when I was human... I really cannot find the words to describe the difference. I tried real hard to think back to the feelings I used to have as a human, but even the memories of them aren't the same. It feels like something is just... Missing. My mind doesn't wander, I don't find myself casually thinking about her or dream about doing things with her. It's just not... Enchanting in the same way it used to be... And I do really miss that.

But that's not to say vampires can't feel at least something close to love. After Jeanette allowed me to drink of her vitae... Now the feelings _that_ triggered were a lot more like it, even if they, too, were completely different, too. Immediately after I sunk my teeth into her, it felt like we were best friends. After the overwhelming feelings of power and ecstasy started to wear off, that is. It made me feel like Jeanette was really important to me. Like she had _always_ been a part of my life, and always would be... Unless I failed her. Like I could do _anything_ for her. Maybe that doesn't sounds like love to you, but it sure felt like that to me, at least compared to what I had been feeling up until then in the vampire-part of my life...

And after my second drink of her blood... All these feeling I feel as I hold her close, as I try to save her now... _This_ feels even more like love. I don't care about the risks. Right now, this is the only solution I see to this problem. Hopefully, letting her drink my blood will allow me to command her, or at least influence her, to not hurt herself... Of course, it could backfire and work in the complete opposite manner - she might command _me_ to hurt her... Would I be able to resist the blood bond? And would I survive the guilt if she made me hurt her? No... I wouldn't survive. That much I was sure of. I'd probably kill myself if I had to hurt her... But I remained hopeful it wouldn't come to that. If I would have anything to say in this matter, it wouldn't. I care too much about her to not give this a try. I don't care if the blood bond is the only reason I care this much for Jeanette - if it's because of the blood bond, then the blood bond is the reason I am alive. _Jeanette_ is the reason I want to keep living this un-life.

Jeanette...

I only felt a slight sting as her fangs pierced my skin. Right away, the feeling was intoxicating - even better than being on the receiving end. I raised my hand behind her, grabbing the back of her head, pressing her closer to me, egging her on, encouraging her to drink. Her eyes were closed, and I felt her heavy breaths through her nostrils on my skin. I felt Jeanettes' hands on my breasts - ..? Either she is really fast, or this situation has me really distracted - and I leaned forward and placed my lips on her forehead, kissing it, telling her it's okay. My legs trembled from the immense pleasure that Jeanette's sucking and touching induced in me. I felt her experienced hands rub and squeeze my breasts and occasionally pinch my nipples though my shirt and bra - "She is _good_...", I remember thinking to myself. I didn't even realize it was about to happen until it had already started - she was going to make me cum. I had time to utter a single word as it begun;  
\- "M-Mistress..!"  
I gasped as my legs weakened. I had to lean some of my weight onto Jeanette to prevent myself from falling. My thighs quivered lightly under me as the orgasm rolled over me in electric waves of pleasure, and my head filled with white. I felt light-headed as the sensation started to weaken - and then, suddenly and without warning - I passed out. I was knocked out, but conscious for long enough to feel that Jeanette caught me before I collapsed. She asked if I was allright in a worried tone, but I couldn't answer. Everything went black, but I felt Jeanette lift me, seemingly without effort, judging by the steadiness of her hands and posture. She was strong...

 

The next thing I knew, I was waking up in the giant, heart-shaped bed in Jeanette's room. I was wearing nothing at all... I'd been neatly tucked in, and the bed was real comfortable. The first thing I noticed was that Jeanette was sleeping next to me, judging from what I saw of her, as naked as myself. Her head was resting on my chest, together with her left arm. We were covered with the huge, red blanket up to just beneath her shoulders, leaving my breasts exposed - but that's where Jeanette's head and one of her hands were, so that was allright. The second thing I noticed was that _huge_ , creepy painting of... "The sisters" and their alleged father. I wasn't sure how Jeanette would respond to seeing it first thing when she woke up... I'd rather not find out, either. I carefully snuck out of the bed, temporarily replacing myself in Jeanette's grip with one of the big pillows, and made my way over to the painting. It sure was big, but, using my blood-powered strength, I gently lifted it off whatever it was attached to the wall with (which turned out of be surprisingly easy), turn it around and lean it, making the faces look into the wall. As I finished and started sneaking back to bed, I noticed that my leg had been bandaged. There was even a cute little ribbon tied on the side, and a single imprint of lips made in lipstick on the gauze - in the same shade lipstick as Jeanette uses. Oh, Jeanette...

 

\---

For the first time since my Embrace, I feel good about something. I've had nothing to care for, no expectations. The days... I mean nights... Just seem to float away from me. They have had no meaning. Maybe... Just maybe... That's about to change?  
I sneak back into bed. I was planning to put Jeanette back on top of me as she was earlier, but there's no need. She latches on to me as soon as I've settled in. Her breasts press up against my side... They aren't huge, but they're still quite big. And so _firm_... A girl could get jealous - hard to believe they're completely natural, really...  
As I lay there, thinking of Jeanettes' breasts, her hand gently squeezes one of mine - a quiet moan escapes me. I think she's still sleeping, though...

A few minutes later, I fall asleep.

I awaken refreshed. Jeanette is still sleeping on top of me. Her aura is... different. Not completely unlike what Jeanette's had felt and looked like before last nights events, but then again, very different. Her aura felt much calmer, and that turquoise-blue color was now dominant. I'll have to ask my mentor if she could tell me more about auras...

I do my best to crawl our of her grasp and bed without waking her. Getting my shirt and socks on, sitting on the edge of the bed, I take a moment to listen to her breathing. Calm. Serene. I take care not to make noise as I get the rest of my clothes on. I don't want to leave her like this - it might even be a really bad idea... But I have urgent business to tend to. Thinking of business, I remember the gun. I go over to where I thought it landed after I tossed it, and promptly found it. The chamber's still out. I close it and pocket the gun. I pick up the bullets and casings as well, then go back to get my boots on...  
As I lace them, I feel regretful. I wish I could stay with her today. Well, not just today... It's been a while since I've considered holding off on completing one of my mentors' assignments... But I've never actually ignored one, and I even have a personal interest in this particular task... Besides, the things my mentor would do to me if I ignored one of her requests...  
I shook lightly as a shiver passed along my spine at the thought. No, no matter how badly I wanted to stay with Jeanette, I couldn't ignore this task. I decided to leave right now, finish the assignment as efficiently as possible, so that I can come straight back here as quickly as possible.

I walk over to the door and put my hand on the handle. I turn my head to get just one more look at Jeanette before I go...  
But when I turn, she is up and out of bed. Standing a few steps away from the end of the bed, stark naked, one arm holding the other by her side in an insecure pose. There is a small, but eye-catching, red scar where she shot herself. Her eyes are open, but she isn't looking at me. It strikes me how much different she looks from either of Therese and Jeanette with her hair down like that.  
\- "Now that Therese is gone, I-I'm going to be lonely a-all by myself... You'll come see me... W-Won't you?", she begged. As she spoke, she closed the distance between us. She put her hands on my chest, then leaned her head in and rested her cheek against my upper chest. I gently put my chin on top of her head and wrapped my arms around her. I stroke her hair as if to calm her. Holding her head, I press her closer to me. It feels good, standing like this with her in my arms. Thinking about it, it's better that she sees me now, as I leave, than finding me gone. Waking up alone after what happened last night... That's just no good.

Besides, she didn't have to beg for me to return. I wouldn't be leaving in the first place if I didn't have to...  
\- "Don't worry, Mistress. I will be here for you. Either forever, or until one of us dies... Though, I'm not sure I could go on living if you died, anymore...", I tell her, still stroking her hair. After I finish speaking, I kiss her forehead and look her in the eyes.  
\- "We've only known each other for a short while... But I'm already certain that you are either the love of my life... Or the one who will kill me.", I say, as confidently as I can. As I speak that last part, she flinches and pulls away from me, just a little... But once she looks back at me, I see understanding in her eyes.  
\- "There's no need to speak now. Think it through. I will be yours forever, if you will be mine forever, Mistress. I'll be back tomorrow night. We'll speak then."  
My voice trembles as I speak. I have never exposed myself in such a way before... But doing so makes me feel _alive_ , for the first time in... A very long time.

 

Overwhelmed by emotion, I quickly scurry out of the room, starting to close the door behind me as I pass through - but as the door reaches halfway closed behind me, I hear Jeanette whisper:  
\- "Make sure you come back... I don't want to be alone..."  
I froze and replied, my eyes meeting hers through the crack in the door;  
\- "... As long as I live, I will come back to you."

 

A thought passes through my mind as we watch each other for another moment; my mentor used to tell me that "mortal love is something we Vampires don't _want_ or _need_ ", a "weakness"... But what about _im_ mortal love?

Then I close the door and get on my way. As I take the elevator down, I keep thinking of the clicking of the door as it closed - it felt... Too final. Like a bad omen. Nevertheless, I wasn't turning back now. Not until my mission was complete.


End file.
